Congratulations, Mets: Welcome to the big kids’ table!

Atlanta Braves, New York Mets

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The New York Mets clinched their first playoff berth since the Barack Obama Administration!

It has been a long time since the New York Mets got to sit at the big kids’ table, so let’s congratulate them on a terrific season and finally playing up to the standard of the teams that actually run this league: The Atlanta Braves, the Houston Astros and the Los Angeles Dodgers.

As this skull-rattling Miller Lite-induced hangover wears off, we hope this letter finds you well on the grandest of Tuesday mornings. You earned the right to party, so nobody is going to blame you for getting a little too banged up last night. A lot in the world in has changed since 2016, good, bad and downright ugly. We all know you haven’t been here before, so welcome to the big kids’ table!

However, please believe us when we say this: This is so effing hard, as October is unforgiving.

Congratulations on getting invited to the postseason party, New York Mets!

Not going to lie, it is cool to receive an invitation to something so special. You put in the work. You stopped crying for your mom to buy you Skittles at the checkout line in the grocery store. You did all of your chores. Heck, you even washed behind your ears for the first time in your life. The report card coming home no longer reads FFFFCA, but something along the lines of a pair of Triple-A’s!

While it is so incredibly great to have you part of the Justice League again, you do realize you are closer to Aquaman than you are to Batman? I mean, Jason Mamoa is pretty sweet, but let’s just hope you’re not Ezra Miller. And even if you were Batman, you are closer to the Ben Affleck and George Clooney variety than you are to the Adam West, Michael Keaton or Christian Bale versions.

As you sit at this table with the Astros, the Braves, the Dodgers and your older brother in the New York Yankees, be self-aware enough to know that none of us want to see you win. Heck, even if the Philadelphia Phillies get that last-second invite, they almost certainly don’t want to see you win big either. You may have to play the us vs. the world card, but don’t be the Cleveland Browns…

If you win the World Series for the first time since Ronald Reagan was in office or before any of us had heard of Jerry Seinfeld, we will be there to say congratulations!; it’s been a long time coming… However, wasn’t it all over when Sal Licata barfed into a microphone on Memorial Day Weekend? Was this before or after he put on a Braves jersey to watch an Atlanta game with his dog Maddux?

As we approach the climax of The Narco War, this NL postseason might come down to Edwin Diaz’s right arm and William Contreras’ power bat. The best part about it all is we won’t have to hear Gary Cohen or Keith Hernandez cheer about players on rival teams getting hurt over the airwaves. It hardly seems right, to be honest. But then again, October baseball does hit differently.

At this juncture, you have to win between 11 and 13 games on the biggest of stages to crown yourselves champions. Even if you do beat the Braves out to win the NL East, they are still going to be at the party, so get ready for that. Should the Braves come up short on their World Series repeat quest, the Dodgers won it all two years ago and have the best team in the National League.

If you do run the gauntlet and win the NL pennant, good job, guys. That ain’t easy, and neither will be presumably the Astros in the Fall Classic. Houston may have your older brother’s number, but they can bully just about anybody. It is essentially a given that the Astros will be in the ALCS, as they have gotten that far each of the last five postseasons. They are the Evil Empire over in the AL.

While we are all so happy that you could finally attend this year’s postseason soiree, just know this isn’t the NFL. You are not going to sneak up on someone like the Cincinnati Bengals did last January. It is all about the baby steps. Atlanta, Houston and Los Angeles all had major trials and tribulations before winning their most recent titles. The Yankees are still working through theirs…

Ultimately, we are just going to warn you that this is a ramped up intensity most of your players are not used to. Yes, Jacob deGrom was around the last time you were good, but this is untrodden territory for most of your team. Although nobody expects you to bow out in the first round, as we all know how talented you are, it is a quantum leap up in the championship rounds. Are you ready?

It is up to you to prove us all wrong, but let this be a warning that October baseball hits differently.


All those who have reached the summit since the last time you had a seat at the big kid’s table, plus your older brother who has won five championships way more recently than you guys have.

  • Atlanta Braves (2021)
  • Los Angeles Dodgers (2020)
  • Houston Astros (2017)
  • New York Yankees (2009…)

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